Now that I have crossed the threshold, got hitched, and all the other metaphors for married; I reflected on what I wish I knew more about during the wedding process- the registry. I heard from a lot of people that a wedding registry is the only time in our lives that we can get everything new, so we better ask for new items that we already have now. First off, this is not true because Santa can also bring new things…second, I fully believed that what Zach and I had functioned perfectly fine. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. I’ve heard my mom and other family members say that I needed a bunch of platters, gravy boats, and things I have never heard of for when we have people over. I’ve always replied back “you’re making it sound like I’m going to host a gathering every week, and even if I did, I don’t think I’ll be making gravy, and also, paper plates work just fine. Zach & I are very much minimalists, and like practicality.
As I was trying to piece together what we possibly would even need, I kept catching myself saying to Zach “this would be great for when we have people over!” I now understand why people have an obsession with HomeGoods and Target because they have a whole lot of things that would spruce up a house to make it more than a mismatched bag of my things marrying his things. There are pieces that make gatherings unique from others’ homes. So here is my list of everything I used to mock and say I didn’t need, but now I admittedly use, as well as the epiphanies I have learned along the way:
1. Adult Sheets, Towels, and Comforters
Adult is a key work here, let me explain. Yes, Zach and I have our own towels, sheets, and comforters from the pre married life; but the reason I started to see that these needed to be on the registry is because we both had different colors/quality/quantity. When I was sorting through our sheets and towels post single life, I picked up on the trend that there is such thing as “boy things” and “girl things,” aka Zach has blue towels, and a pair of sheets that probably had the color as “Poop Brown” on the label. The comforter was the classic navy blue with slight stains. My world was all pink or polka dots (no, that is not what I slept in before I married him.) I did not want to sleep on those old brown ones, and I am sure he didn’t want to slowly soak out the manhood in him. It pained my practical side to add gender neutral linens to the registry when all my mine had a lot of life left to live, but I am glad I took the step. I never understood why adult stuff was so dang expensive. Why get expensive sheets when you have the slight chance of sneezing resulting in dumping a cup of coffee on yourself while sitting in bed? (I never had coffee in bed again). I went against my practical mindset, I added the fancy sheets, towels, and a adulty comforter to the registry. The room absolutely transformed as well as my maturity level (I think). I had no idea that $200 sheets could feel like I am getting into bed only to feel like I transported to a 5 star hotel. Although, trying to get the fitted sheet became more difficult, unfortunately. I also didn’t know that adult towels were softer, & larger, since I have been using childhood sets (as a 5 ft. human, they have always been effective.) Don’t get me wrong, everything I owned pre-marriage life did its job (and I still use them from time to time so they don’t feel neglected,) but I now realize that our pre married linens didn’t look like we were united in marriage. I don’t know why matching towels is a symbol to me of being married, or having neutral sheet colors, but I now see the purpose of them because polka dots and my husband together just doesn’t look right. Maybe instead of doing a unity candle, we should have done a unity “sacrificial hand over our old linens ceremony.” Bottom line, your sheets and towels from the single life have served their purpose and can now retire to the “extra stuff closet.”
2. A Cake Dome
The first thing I told my mom once I created a registry was “please don’t get me a cake dome, I don’t need it.” Growing up, I remember my mom’s staple gift she got for someone was either a punch bowl, or a cake dome. Since punch bowls have gone out of style for every generation and have been replaced by fancy drink dispensers, you know, the ones where you put cucumbers or mint leaves in them? The cake dome continues to live on. The reason I thought I didn’t need one is for several reasons. 1. Anyone who knows me, knows that I probably can’t make a cake, even a boxed one, because I can’t even make pre-made tollhouse refrigerated dough cookies..practice does not make perfect in this case, I assure you. 2. Despite my inability to bake, I also have never bought a cake in my life. 3. Cakes look just fine in the container they came in- there’s no need to move it from it’s box home to a remodeled HGTV cake dome home. Well guess what? When moving into the new house, I found my thoughts telling me that would be a great place for a cake dome. It scared me, I didn’t know who I was turning into. Now, I am not about to be an infomercial telling you a cake dome changed my life, but I will tell you that I learned a cake dome is more than just a dome for cake. It can hold many other species of desserts such as cupcakes, donuts, cookies, pastries and so much more! It could even hold non food items if that’s what you’re in to. They can stand alone as a great decor piece which mine is currently, ready to hold all the desserts I will have for hosting people….there, I said it; Mom, you are right again.
3. House Decor
Have you noticed that recently the trend is to buy baskets, throw pillows, fake plants, cute bowls, or stylish serving trays that sit on coffee tables or counters? I told myself I would never get those kind of things or ask for them. But now, they are on my registry, because it hit me that I can actually USE those! A basket is made to hold things! Fancy coasters can save your tables from drinks! A fake plant can make it look like you can take care of plants when really you can’t! A bowl can contain items! A serving tray can be used to put things on as I bring them to all the gatherings I will host! I don’t know if it is just me who thought these things just sat there and looked pretty. A throw pillow doesn’t need to just sit there, it can be used for a nap (hence why 4th of July throw pillows are on our man cave sectional!) There’s been a lot of controversy on the topic of throw pillows. Husbands everywhere argue that there is such thing as too many, when in reality, I catch Zach cuddling up with all of them while watching his soccer games. The different size pillows caters to all your nap needs. Do I have more throw pillows than I always told myself I would? Yes, I have 2, and the ROI on them has been positive. Bottom line, if you are someone who gets these type of things, just remember their real purpose in life.
4. Manly Tools and Lawn Things
I call it lawn and manly stuff because I honestly don’t know the name of half of it or know how to use it. When we bought our house, I forgot that grass grows, leaves fall off the trees, weeds grow in colonies, and we now have a whole yard of grass and trees and weeds that do all that. The worst part is we have no Mike Casey to take care of that or make the grass green & pristine to the point where you can tell which yard is his when looking at an aerial view on Google Earth. Grass either grows, or it doesn’t, and post winter it looked unloved and sad at the Haugen House. Our grass would probably feel self conscious when people are over. Since buying our house, there have been a lot of times when we realized we needed something, but just didn’t have it. I learned that there are these things that are called stud finders, and if you don’t have one, you run the risk of your drywall ripping off when hanging a picture of an alpaca. I have learned that an electric drill is a necessity because a hammer just can’t do it sometimes. I learned that a wrench is handy when putting patio furniture together (there is a reason I leave this to Zach). We now have fertilizer and the thing that spreads it (put that on your registry). We have a lawn mower (add that), heavy duty shovels for snow (add that, and for all y’all that don’t see snow much, you probably will still need one). You will also need a lot of tools that I don’t even know the names of. I hope someone in your marriage does. And I reckon that you add a leaf blower on there too as we yearned for a leaf blower this past fall. Picking out every leaf in the rock beds, or sweeping crab apples off the driveway is time I will never get back.
5. Quality Master Bedroom Furniture
I used to call a Savers TV dinner tray my nightstand. It worked really well for the one thing I put on it being my phone half the time. Before, I thought, eh, I don’t even need a nightstand. I also thought I didn’t need more drawers other than a dresser because I had a closet. Well folks, once again I was wrong, as I remembered I have a husband that also owns shirts that he hangs in half the closet, but that left no room for his pants. Husbands need to wear pants, too, which require drawers. Speaking of drawers, they own those, too, that wouldn’t look great being displayed for everyone to see if there were no space to put them. Because of these new discoveries, we invested in great furniture that matched the vibe of the room – polka dot free. Quality furniture is no joke. We should have paid someone to haul our 230 lb dresser up the weird juxtaposition of stairs. Shoutout to Zach and my sister in law’s brother for getting that up there. Carter, you probably aren’t reading this, but we still owe you that drink. Zach and I hoisted up a lingerie chest that has been used more than I ever thought (don’t let your mind go to the gutter, it is a home to all of my workout clothes). I have started to learn that it is ok to have more space than I need, just in case I have more clothes than I need. Space is a luxury sometimes. Lastly, we carried up two nightstands, in which mine now has two things on it! Investing in quality furniture is so important because it lasts a very long time, which means, it won’t be coming back down those stairs for a very long time, I can assure you, and I dread that day.
6. A Copious Amount of Decent Sponges and Dish Cloths
It may feel extra putting a $15 sponge on your registry, but it is worth it. When I was living alone in my apartment, I had exactly one sponge, and two dish cloths. That’s all I needed! I have sympathy for all stationary objects like they are my children and I took great care of them so I wouldn’t need new ones. My sponges got baths in the dishwasher, and my dish cloths got a rinse after every time they were on the job. But then, I moved in with a man. I moved in with a man that was already pretty clean, but one that does not feel the same way as I do about my dish cloth children. This really changed the game and my anxiety as the food we made started to stick to pans more than the frozen chicken nuggets that I “cooked,” and my Scrub Daddy started to look more like a Scrub Daddy that got back from war. I now have a plethora of sponges and dish cloths to clean all the dried cream cheese off knives, and dish cloths to clean remnants of dinner off the counter tops- or blot the ketchup out of Zach’s white shirts which seems to happen to every Haugen (my Casey genes must protect me from that trait). Trust me on this ladies, load up on these things- you go through them fast if they can’t keep up.
7. A Quality Blanket
When looking at every person’s registries to gather research on what I should put on mine, there was always a blanket. I thought to myself why do I need a blanket to match the color scheme of my house when the neon green and purple zebra with the giant word “gymnast” works just fine? And I also had my Gustavus gold and black tie blanket that I made in high school -fully in tact. But then, I remember one night sitting on the couch before bed and the “this is the time to get new things” quote popped into my head. I scrolled and saw all the pretty and pricey blankets in pictures…then I looked down at my Gustavus colored blanket next to my furniture and realized it was time. It would look a lot more adultish, and matched the color of the handy dandy trendy basket it could go in! I am now sitting under an ombre fluffy weaved blanket and have no regrets. As great as the memories and sentimental moments my gymnast zebra blanket held that I don’t even remember which gymnastics meet I got it at, and probably your tie blanket with soccer balls, flowers, or basketballs on it- go for that upgrade.
8. Hutches
I don’t even know if that is the correct term for this, I am not quite the expert on furniture as I just learned what a console is. You know those cabinet things that do or don’t have glass doors but aren’t in the kitchen? No, not a china hutch, but similar. It is great to have a place to store miscellaneous things such as extra placemats, cloth napkins, and all the platters for hosting gatherings. Some things just don’t belong in the kitchen cabinets. Remember how I mentioned the extra space in the dresser? Yeah, these are needed because the items that would go in these would not go in the extra dresser space. Imagine someone coming over and needing a paper plate and you respond with “hold on, they’re next to my underwear in the bedroom!” Extra storage for extra pitchers, pieces to display, paper products, and items you don’t use frequently is super helpful! Maybe it truly is a china hutch for all the china you have but probably will never use. Maybe it is a little hutch for the books, and board games that you don’t want sitting in your living room because it would ruin the “vibe.” In my hutch, I have all my leftover Lyme Disease treatment products just in case I get bitten by a tick a third time by a llama instead of an alpaca this time. I have red solo cups from the housewarming party in which I thought would be more like a college party. Turns out, people do mature after graduation. I store a giant pitcher handed down in my family to me (because they probably never used it. Although, it is perfect for cucumber water after my mother in law handed out 3 pack cucumbers like party favors since she severely over shot the amount of cucumbers high schoolers would eat at a grad party- I digress- the cucumber water was great, Holly! I have seasonal themed bowls for the house to use when everything turns to pumpkin shaped in the fall, and most importantly, I have a Kentucky Derby themed salsa and chip platter to match the Kentucky Derby decorative basket which is needed for all things Derby Day.
9. Portable Casserole Dish Holder
Due to my half Kentucky roots, I call it a casserole. Sorry to all my purebred Minnesotans. I grew up seeing time and time again my parents put their casseroles for Thanksgiving in a holder with handles. They were the only ones in my extended family to do that, so I thought it was a little extra because casserole/hot dish pans have handles! Maybe it was due to the fact that my mom’s sweet potato casserole was coveted and needed to be protected at all costs, but in my head I just thought it would be fine throwing some tin foil on it and off you go! Then, I got old enough that I saw my name in the family rotation to bring something. I wrapped my dish in some towels to keep it warm for the road trip to family Thanksgiving. I was so excited to debut my finally edible dish. The trunk slowly opened to reveal half of my casserole sloshed everywhere while my parent’s casserole was perfectly fine in its little casserole tote. This moment led me to put that thing as one of the first items on the registry to preserve my hard work I put in for next Thanksgiving. Bet you didn’t think of putting that one on there, ladies!
10. Patio Furniture
I didn’t even add patio furniture to our registry because I truly did not see it as a necessity starting out. Granted, nothing on a registry is a necessity, if that were the case I’d make my registry my grocery list. I digress- patio furniture was in tier 3 for things we needed. For some reason, I believed that furniture on a patio, which patios and decks are made to house furniture was stupid to ask for. Zach was so adamant about getting patio furniture, even before a grill. Grills and patio furniture went hand in hand in my mind since growing up that is really the only time we went on our deck. The moment my perspective changed was when we had a bonfire and my choice was to pop a squat on the ground, or use the mini tripod looking chair that Zach got somewhere. Zach was a gentleman and gave me the mini chair while he found comfort on the ground. The other time was when it would have been so nice to have dinner outside, but that would mean dinner on the handy dandy TV dinner trays, or shall I say former nightstand, but we were sadly lacking chairs. That would be embarrassing and not functional for hosting in the future. The outside of a house needs to be furnished just as much as the inside. At least get a few chairs to start- it makes a huge difference. Now that we got our outside furniture, we’ve experienced birthday cake sessions, home cooked freezer meals together, and enjoying watching the rabbit we named Peter (real original) in the backyard together. I really wish I caved to putting it on the registry, so now is your chance!
I am a month into being a wife, which does not at all transfer to being an expert married person. But being closer to just getting married and all the trends may give me a leg up until years from now where the trends are TV dinner trays for all tables in the house along with wine glasses being used for vases. I tried to think of something weird, that was hard. If you noticed, hosting & gatherings happened came up in every paragraph-and that is what marriage and life is about; spending it with others and preparing yourself to do so. Maybe this won’t apply in the future if cake domes are out of style, power washing your dishes makes sponges go extinct, or Tesla makes a self mowing lawn mower- but for now as someone who read all the other blogs that were super cliche and didn’t tell me about having a copious amount of dish cloths, I hope this helps a little bit. Congratulations to those who are getting married, or if you’re just really into reading my blogs, or registry blogs; thank you! I wish you good luck with putting on the fitted sheets for the rest of your life!
~Lauren
Life of Lauren 