In honor of my son’s first birthday (tomorrow!) I thought it was fitting to do a post about him and all that we have experienced together! But first; I feel like I need to introduce myself again since it has been a year long hiatus from touching this blog. I am sorry to all of you that have been deprived of my “life-changing” reading material that you probably read when you need to kill time. It is very suiting that this blog is titled “Life of Lauren,” because the life of Lauren has changed significantly since the last time you read anything from me. Sitting down to use my brain for fun has not been appetizing as of late.
Hello! I am Lauren Haugen, formerly Lauren Casey when I started this blog. I am a psychology graduate nerd, former gymnast, Epilepsy warrior, wife to my husband Zach, self-awarded best sister & daughter ever, handstand expert, taco enthusiast, and now I can add Mom (hint: that is the new Life of Lauren part) to my son, Casey, to my list of identities! If anyone wants to know more nitty gritty details on my list such as being allergic to kiwi, or that I am still scarred by misspelling “bandage” during my 5th grade spelling bee, feel free to reach out. (The proctor had an accent and it sounded like “bandish.)” Becoming a parent has been the feeling of a 5am alarm on a Monday, but also the feeling of that first sip of coffee in the morning. With that, here’s a few things that I have, in my opinion, found to be important since becoming a parent!
1. The importance of functional fitness
I am an avid fitness fanatic and always have been. The reason I have worked out in adulthood was to look great at the pool. Now, I work out for a totally different reason because it would be so hard if I didn’t train certain movements that I actually need to do as a parent. It’s also my stress outlet which I definitely need as a parent, too…and I still want to look good at the pool (don’t we all? Come on now, folks.)
Functional fitness is using hamstrings to bend over and pick up your laundry basket. It is cardio to run after your kids before they use a ballpoint pen to draw sheep on hard wood floors (guilty.) It is getting down and dirty to wipe pureed peas off the floor. It is crawling behind the couch to grab a toy that was chucked across the room. It is simply going up the stairs. Imagine slowly starting to not execute tasks because those muscles aren’t being trained! I will tell you that before having Casey, I didn’t consistently train squats because I had no reason to. I was humbled the first time I dropped something while holding a 5lb baby because I could barely squat to pick it up (I advise new parents to test out which pacifiers bounce the most, and then avoid those at all cost.) I really needed to work on my leg strength, or we’d have a problem. 15 lbs later and I am easily able to do squats while holding a 20lb baby because I train to do so. (I was also able to stand back up in the picture above- wide leg ballet squats are no joke.) It’s amazing seeing the progress I have made, and it feels like when I achieved a new skill in gymnastics “back in the olden days.” Every muscle in my body has had to gain more muscle strength to be used in a lot of different ways, such as holding a newborn and using the bathroom at the same time. That was a proud milestone! Functional fitness truly is important because as it says; it helps you function so you are able to show up for your kids, and for your own health. I unfortunately had to experience what it was like not being able to function for myself, Casey, or quite frankly anyone in paragraphs to come.
2. The floor creaking isn’t the issue
Do you remember watching in movies where parents put the baby to sleep and they tip toe out of the room super quietly so the floor doesn’t creak to avoid waking the baby? Yeah, well this is not the only real issue here. I have stepped on the magic creaking spot in our nursery so many times and Casey does not stir. I have body slammed furniture in the dark and he is fine. I have dropped bottles, tripped over a rug, and more things that you think would wake a baby up, but not him. I started thinking, hey, maybe I just have a heavy sleeper! Awesome! But no, I found the weakness, and that is the weakness of my joints. The problem is when I tip toe out of the room; my ankle pops, a toe joint doesn’t like me in that moment, or a wrist pops even though I somehow am not using it. I never would have thought being a gymnast, or perhaps getting older once I hit 25, would be the culprit. Even at one year old, Casey still wakes up when my big toe pops louder than the high schooler revving his engine near the house thinking he’s cool.
3. A music career is made
I am not the kind of gal to sing out loud with others around me. Singing happy birthday was (kind of still is) a struggle, and singing in the car was a no-no. I didn’t even sing in church growing up because that was somehow embarrassing for no reason at all. Now that I am a mom; I sing worship songs to Casey during the service, I can’t wait to be the loudest in the room to sing happy birthday to him (mom duties.) I belt out the songs at the top of my head in the car to try and keep him entertained even if they are not child appropriate . I sing the Barney theme song daily, Zach and I perform duets, we sing the songs at ECFE together, and I kind of sing nursery songs. By kind of, I mean I pathetically realized I forgot the words to the most common songs including Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. But what I have come to realize, is I began to write my own singles on the spot without any thought of what words are coming out of my mouth. It is like filling a space with sound to entertain Casey, just like it is talking about the weather to fill space when joining a work call. Let’s hope I don’t mix those up sometime. If that were the case, my coworkers would hear my album including my hits Put your Pants on Song, That’s My Little Man, Change the Poopy, What Are We Going to Wear Today, and Bath Time Bath Time. Stay tuned for my next album dropping soon!
4. Wear a bike helmet
This is going to be long, folks. As I previously mentioned, I got a taste of what it was like to not be able to do anything for anyone, let alone hold my son. It was awful, and it woke me up to see that I need to think about all the situations or danger I put myself in, because I need to always be there as a wife, and a mom. Here’s what I mean- I signed up to do the 36 mile Tour De Tonka bike ride in August 2024. I hopped on my road bike and put my helmet on that morning with no idea I would be proving the point that helmets save lives as we all heard from every grown up when we were kids when we didn’t want to wear them because they didn’t look cool (me.) I think you all know I’m about to say I crashed my bike, but this is so much more than a bike crash.
I was a few miles in going down a hill when I looked at my speedometer, and it flashed that I was going 25mph. I looked back up and the girl in front of me suddenly braked real hard causing my instincts to kick in. My instincts told me that smashing into the girl was not the best option, but turning my handlebars sharply to the left and bracing myself for a lot of road rash was the next best thing. I remember as I was on the way down being more concerned about crying in front of strangers rather than the fact I’d probably have no skin left on my body. Seconds later, I hit the ground, but it didn’t hurt because the light switch in my head turned off. I woke up to paramedics standing over me, asking me what the date was, in which I responded “I don’t know, but I never know anyways.” They were happy I still kept my bad humor. I was impressed no one else was lying in the road considering I smacked the pavement in the middle of the pack. I guess everyone else’s instincts were better at avoiding running someone over. My bike’s chain came off, but other than that, it was fine. I also looked fine on the outside, I only had one scratch on my finger, but that is because I hit the concrete so hard that I didn’t slide. I was told my helmet sacrificed itself and cracked inside to save my head from cracking instead (have you ever seen a cracked inside of a helmet? Yeah, me neither.) But just like my helmet cracked on the inside, I was cracked on the inside, too.
It only took me a few seconds to break my hip, 4 ribs, my collarbone, become concussed with a small brain bleed, bruise a lung, and tear the artery in my neck that supplies blood to my brain. Go big or go home am I right? The next few days were an absolute blur between all the scans, neurologists, TBI docs, orthopedists and anyone else that thought I got hit by a car. You’d be surprised how many times I had to tell someone that this was indeed, a one woman show. I left the hospital with some party favors to commemorate this experience being a hot new ride to wheel me around while I was told I couldn’t walk for up to 6 months. I also brought home 2 new plates and 14 screws to hold my collarbone together. They assured me it would be ok, because I wouldn’t be setting alarms off in the airport for the rest of my life since they were fancy Titanium. #boujee! Lastly, I was prohibited from lifting anything over 10lbs so my artery would not tear more. Because of this, I could not pick up my 3 month old son, go up the stairs to his nursery unless my wheelchair could sprout wings, get up to feed him when he needed me, and play with him. All I could do was just be present, and I hoped that was enough for him to feel like I was his mom. I struggled with this deeply, as I was already struggling with postpartum thoughts of how I truly believed he didn’t like me as much as everyone else.
I had to move to a more wheelchair accessible home, aka my parent’s house. I time traveled back to what felt like high school again, and my boyfriend would come over to visit and hang out and then leave at night; except it was my husband. Zach brought Casey over after work, and took him home later. I joke that it felt like Zach and I were separated with 50/50 custody over Casey. I really wished that bad joke I made was actually a bad joke, but it was my reality at the moment. I was so motivated to get back to good health for both of them, that I worked hard to get out of the wheelchair in one month instead of 3-6 as predicted. I skipped to crutches (my pride refused to use a walker), and I was able to walk fully on my own within 2-3 months with no help. I will say, I was sad to see the shower chair go because that was kind of relaxing. The gnarly scar on my collarbone is the tattoo that will be on me forever to remind me of the most memorable year of my life! So, long story that wasn’t short: be more aware of what you do, and think of those who depend on you…and of course, wear your bike helmet.
5. You need more bottles than you think you do
I was a firm believer that I needed maximum 3 bottles, because they could just be cleaned in order to use them again! I saw videos everywhere about how annoying it is to clean bottles, and all I thought was geez, it’s really not that hard. Boy, I sure take my words back and agree with those videos. Before becoming a parent, there was no way for me to realize how dreadful of a task cleaning a bottle would be. It isn’t just because I didn’t do any research or perform google rabbit hole sessions; it truly is a “you don’t know until you know” feeling. I quickly learned after a full day of sleep deprivation mixed with pumping, normal human activities, remembering that you have to take care of yourself, taking time to eat, and total justified laziness; cleaning a singular bottle is the last thing I wanted to do. A top 5 worst feeling is going to grab a bottle for a feeding in the middle of the night, seeing there are none, and having to clean one while holding your cranky tired baby in hand (also why upper body functional fitness is needed.) Even having a one year old, it still makes my stomach sink when I am FINALLY about to go up to bed for the night, and there are all the sinister bottles that need to be cleaned sitting at the sink staring at me. The little teddy bears and rainbows on the bottles turn into grizzly bears and thunderstorms. Invest in more bottles, and tag team with an amazing spouse like mine!
6. Burp cloths are a new decor item
This is more for the earlier months, but I learned that burp cloths are not just for the instances of burping post feeding. They need to be everywhere you can think of, especially when you have an infant with bad reflux. Casey would hit me with spit up when I was least expecting it which was always instances when there was no burp cloth within reach. This included at a grad party while neighbors were meeting him for the first time. As someone who is a neat freak, this was not acceptable, and no drop of spit up, or puree, belongs on any article of clothing or upholstery. I now have alpaca themed burp cloths sprinkled all over the house that have become one with our modern decor. Burp cloths really should be named something else that eludes to the fact they are made for more than they get credit for, and I wish I had the tip of asking for ones that compliment my decor. If that is not a thing, you may be finding me on Shark Tank eventually.
7. Nap jail is real
Newborn naps on my chest are the best. There is nothing like looking down at a cute little baby that you made, knowing that you are a new mom and life is so good. Finally, the baby is sleeping and you can get some R&R. Life is good until you realize you need to go to the bathroom, your phone is out of reach, the doorbell rang, your coffee is on the other side of the room, or my personal favorite; you need to sneeze. Contact nap jail, or sick baby snuggles jail, is a very real concept that I never thought would be an issue. About 2 months in, I felt I was past the feeling of never wanting to put my baby down. I now realized the importance of utilizing precious time when the baby was sleeping. I now faced the predicament of not wanting to disturb a peacefully slumbering baby to go put him in the crib and risk waking him up, or getting things done. It is the feeling of playing Jenga trying to get up as slowly as I could to transfer to the crib. All I want is to go clean the whole house while I could (sleep when the baby sleeps wasn’t a thing for me). I ultimately decide to stay in nap jail most of the time, but it always is the best and wholesome jailtime.
8. Days fly by, unless you miss a nap
This is not the same as “time flies” in the sense where your child grows up right before your eyes (although that is still true.) It is amazing how short days feel when living them out in 3 hour chunks, when usually watching the clock makes it feel even slower. Running on a schedule of nap, feed, play adding up to 3 hour chunks really does make for cyclical days. Some days it is great because it makes time with Zach, bed time, or anything I am looking forward to come faster. On the converse, it is not enough time in the day for when there’s so much I need to get done. As Casey has gotten older and we have actually ventured out of the house now that we have come out of winter hibernation, we are doing a lot more things! It is so fun getting to take him places, but the one drawback? The leash we are on connected to nap time. The ripple effect that comes from missing a nap turns into a windy day on Lake Superior (bad.) The day goes from short, to the never ending day as I eye the clock and it is midnight due to an off schedule crabby baby. Thankfully now that we are at one year old, he can last so much longer in between naps, reducing the probability of the day from heck (insert double hockey sticks at your liking.) Time management is so important as a parent, and we are becoming so good at it. A year later, we can now stick to a schedule, dodge and weave activities to incorporate naptimes, and tag team to juggle any curveballs!
9. Toy rejection
Before Casey arrived, I was so excited to add all these new toys to the registry and imagine how we would play with it and use it. This also includes how I was excited to play with it myself…having a baby is a socially acceptable way to do kid things again (I have been having a blast going on playgrounds again.) I can report to you that he did not care at all about the fancy new pacifiers I got him due to rejecting them at 2 months (I now realize this is a blessing). I also got cool teethers -literally and physically-that can be put in the fridge for when he started teething. He is now teething, and he does not like said teethers. Babies just sometimes don’t take what they get, in our case would prefer playing with a package of wet wipes and a cardboard box. I am sure if he understood the concept of receipts and how they are used to return things, rather than chew on them, he would be taking some back. I guess babies have the courage to flat out reject what they get instead of smile and act like they like what was opened on Christmas, but know it will be returned discretely.
10. I am never “fine this one time”
I have this issue of thinking I am immune to things. The phrase “I’ll be fine just this one time.” Or, “I won’t need it, I won’t be out long,” is now out of my vocabulary. I unfortunately had to learn this the hard way leaving me panicked and helpless. Let me set the scene. It was a nice Sunday afternoon, and Casey just did great during the service at church. A perfect gentleman some might say. My family goes out to brunch every Sunday to the same spot, so I thought hey, might as well keep the good times rolling. My luck was soon to end in the next hour. Casey had on his new khakis that day, his first time wearing anything other than Carter’s cotton stretchy pants, so he was a big fashion boy now. Zach was at his soccer league game, so I ventured to church myself that day which means I packed the diaper bag. I thought I would be in the clear for not including a backup outfit in the bag, when usually I do. Diapers in the diaper bag is all I needed! Halfway through lunch, I hear grunting, and then a big smile. I knew what this meant, so off we went to the bathroom, come to find that either Casey did not like his new khakis, the universe was teaching me a lesson to always bring a backup outfit, or both. I think we can put two and two together with what happened here, and needless to say, if any of the above phrases pop into my head no matter how old he has gotten, I do not believe whatever my brain tells me, and remember how not-immune I am to the “just this one time” concept.
11. Get out of your bubble
I lied, I have 1 more thing I wanted to talk about that I realized by reflecting on this first year, it has enriched my life more than I thought it did. Hindsight is a great thing if you use it! When moving to the suburbs and being a new mom, especially the first mom in my MN friend group; it’s lonely! I have wanted so badly to find people in my same stage of life, so I decided to do something about it. I extended myself and now have joined a MomCo. group at a local church that meets on Mondays. It has filled my cup so much just hanging out and laughing about things only moms can relate to over coffee, crafts, weird baby things, and terribly cheesy Hallmark movies that we bond over by mocking every single thing. It’s been a great resource for things such as referrals for the best place to get Casey’s first haircut, hand me downs, feeding tips, and all the mom type things you can probably conclude on your own.
Zach and I also signed up for ECFE (it is like pre-pre school for those who don’t know.) We love going every Tuesday night as Casey gets to learn new skills, meet other babies, and all the parents get to connect on all sorts of topics. This week Casey touched jell-o for the first time, and all of the parents got to laugh together at his response of being freaked out. Oh how heartwarming, right? It is really great bonding over seeing what weird things babies do. Highly recommend! Lastly, I go to Mom’s Evening’s nights at my home church every once in a while, which has been great getting to meet other moms in the church! I never would have guessed I would be in 3 groups and while I may be spread thin at times, I am totally ok with that!
While I could extend this list significantly; I hope this brought you some joy, laughter, tips, secondhand embarrassment, or a walk down memory lane. A lot has happened this year if you did not pick up on that, but it has all had a purpose. Becoming a mom has made me more understanding, appreciative, created closer relationships, helped me learn to ask for help (well…maybe 3.5% increase,) makes me regulate hard emotions better as they come, and has shown me that Zach and I are a great team. Being a great team together is the home base of all of this, and absolutely crucial as new parents. I am incredibly blessed for Zach and the way he rubs off on Casey in the best ways! Casey is the happiest handsome little man that has improved our lives significantly. Life without him would look mean a lot less terrible tone deaf songs, a life with less blowouts in one stall bathrooms, less early mornings, less highly caffeinated drinks, less neon baby toy tornadoes, less pureed chicken rice stains, less hair ripped out of my head, and less wrestling over trying to get “boogies”… but I would not trade it for anything on this earth. I love having the privilege to be his mom, and always will cherish this first year of his life! Happy birthday to my sweet Casey Boy!
Have a great week, folks! I hope to write again before a year from now!
~Lauren
Life of Lauren 