When I became a mom, I envisioned having this super close-knit squad right away as if a new baby was a magnet. Well, I am here to tell you that as a 25 year old with a newborn living in the suburbs, finding a mom group was hard! My friends were in a totally different stage of life. I also was not in the part of the city that gave me a pre-made Hello Fresh type of social life where I’d meet and see people regularly. Instead, I needed to go scavenge for my own food of a social life. Extending yourself can be awkward, but that is what it took for me to find the group I can relate to. This leads me to the inspiration of this post. I am a part of an international organization called MomCo. Our “squad” chapter meets twice a month to just chill and do activities that grow our faith, motivation, and refill our cups a bit. Think sorority, but Mom edition (we pay dues, sorority language unlocked from college.) This year’s theme is Make it Awkward. For those of you that know me, this is not a hard task, as I willingly embarrass myself often and embrace it. Making it awkward in this context means vulnerability. Have you ever thought of it that way? Awkward situations can lead to deeper relationships because it allows for people to help you, relate, humble you, and clear the air when it needs to be. So now, I present to you, 10 awkward or “interesting” moments I have run into as a fresh mom so far.
1. Shop and Run
I am getting a lot better at grocery shopping with a baby now turned toddler. I actually enjoy it because I don’t have to worry about the awkwardness of trying to get past someone in the aisle as they intensely inspect the nutrition label of Fruity Pebbles versus Cookie Crunch; he gets the attention not me (phew.) I also enjoy watching him as he is so fascinated by all the things we zoom by. I wish aisles of vegetables gave me that much joy as they do him.
When I go grocery shopping nowadays, I have two concerns. The first is being embarrassed by the self-checkout machine when it locks up and lets the whole store know that I didn’t put something in the bagging area when I clearly did. The second is loading groceries without realizing Casey is rolling away in a cart down the parking lot. Because of this, I strap him in the car first then put the cart in the cart corral. But this particular time was different. We were ready to go home to continue our Saturday consisting of nothing. I was halfway home when it struck me that I left something in the cart. Casey…just kidding. No, there is no way I left everything I just bought in the cart. I didn’t hear anything crashing and rolling in the trunk as all groceries inevitably do, so I pulled a U-turn (this also confirmed nothing was back there,) and when I arrived back in the parking lot, the groceries were in the cart looking so sad and abandoned. This wouldn’t have been so bad if there wasn’t a lady witnessing me pulling out all the carts to get to mine, and I am pretty sure she thought I was stealing all of the contents to create a grocery hit and run.
2. Walk Gone Wrong
Newborn walks are the best. You get some exercise, time to yourself, and the baby is asleep the whole time. This day, I decided to take advantage of the nice day and go on a long walk. By long walk, I mean a LONG walk. Our main road by our house is one of the busiest roads; but it is a straight shot all the way down and back, plus, I got to show off the fact I was a self-proclaimed hot young mom with an adorable little man. As I was about a mile away from the house, I noticed a darkness was blanketing the sky more than I’d prefer. This was not good, so I upped my pace a bit really believing I could outwalk clouds (didn’t self-proclaim that as much, though.) The first rain drop hit me, and it all went downhill from there, or shall I say, I wish it went downhill since it would probably make me walk faster. It soon was downpouring on us and luckily the stroller covered Casey completely. I was desperate for some kind of tree to interrupt the rain from hitting me straight on, but I was not that lucky. As the cars drove by; I saw all drivers’ faces have looks of pity, smirks from the high schoolers, and some waved at us as my hair started to resemble a wet dog. I honestly may have hopped into a stranger’s car if they offered me candy at that point. As I turned into my neighborhood and the house was in sight, the rain stopped, the sun came out, and I was never going on a long walk again.
3. Lauren in the Headlights
Here’s some pictures with bowls because it was a bowl of awkwardness for me. Change is good, but the process of having to change can take a bit to stick. This is a phenomenon for a lot of things, but the one thing I did not realize would be a learning curve for me was the fact that I would now have to recite someone else’s name and birthday instead of automatically 7/23/98. When we went to a pedes appointment, the receptionist asked for his birthday and I just stood there staring at her like a deer in the headlights; a Lauren in the headlights. I was put on the spot and there was momentarily no information in my brain. Soon, my brain recovered what the months were, but for some reason I could not figure out what number May is (it’s 5.) In my head I played the number and month song I learned in Kindergarten which I use more than I should all these years. But then I realized he was not born on my birthday the 23rd. My brain didn’t seem to remember which day of May he was born on, so I thought back to the picture on Instagram of the announcement sign I used. May 10th, got it. But the year? What year was it? 2023? No, that’s when I got married. 2025, that’s it. Wait never mind that’s next year. 2024, final answer. After about 15 seconds of telling her I needed one second, I spit out 5/10/24. It felt so unfamiliar coming out of my mouth.
I then heard “what is Casey’s full name?” I, again, stood there staring at her and said Lauren Casey. She looked confused and said “so his name is Casey Lauren Casey?” Side note: I am still trying to learn my name is now Lauren Haugen post marriage (see? change doesn’t stick well.) I eventually remembered my name in fact is not Lauren Casey like my Starbucks account still says it is. I replaced my response to her saying his full name is Lauren Michelle Haugen. “No, I need your son’s name, not Mom’s.” I did some calculations in my brain because remembering a new middle name is hard considering mine doesn’t flow off my tongue easily sometimes. I had to think of what Zach’s middle name is, and then reinforced my answer by remembering my brother’s middle name. I was not about to fail this test. I finally finished the equation to proudly tell her Casey David Haugen was my son’s name. She ended with a “are you sure?” That was a proud mom moment.
4. Insurance Hiccup
This one really isn’t that bad, but to continue this doctor appointment theme, I myself was now at one of my appointments. This time I got to resort to my automatic proclamation of my name and birthday which I got 100% on for that test. You know when they ask for your insurance card and you take it out of your wallet, give it to them, they scan it, and then you put it back in your wallet? Such a simple process one might say. Well, I failed the next part of the test. I went to the same section of my wallet where my insurance card lives, but totally forgot that my card now has a new roommate which is Casey’s insurance card. Without thinking I gave it to them. You’d think they’d realize that it wasn’t my card. The thing is, I am aware that the name “Casey” is not a hard core super manly name like Bob, and I have had to explain he is a boy more times than you’d think already. There was no barrier to them scanning the insurance card because of this, but hey, I think I’d look like a good Casey if I wasn’t Lauren. A few days later it randomly hit me in the shower, as that is where all my thinking happens, that I may have given them the wrong one. Knowing myself, I definitely gave them the wrong one. I called back and sure enough, Casey Haugen was in the system for being at the dermatologist as a 1 month old.
5. Flattered…I Think?
You know when you order a drink, the goal is to still get carded? The gals and I currently hate getting carded for our cocktails, because getting a piece of plastic out of a wallet is so much work. If anyone was wondering; my license lives in a different section of my wallet than my insurance card, no mix up there.
Everyone loves to know they look young. But when it comes to the mixed drink of looking young with a shot of mom, it can get awkward, and in those situations I wish I’d get carded by everyone that walks by me while I’m holding Casey. In fact, I wish I had a neon sign on my head that said I am 27. I am aware that I look young, and I think you already know I am going to say that people think I am not Casey’s mom; but it’s more the reaction out of those finding out I am his mom that makes it awkward for me. Since having Casey, I have been asked if I was his nanny for the summer. The response when I said I was his mom? “Oh…well good luck with college with a baby, he’s precious!” All I could think of to say in that moment was a solid “thanks!” (Lauren in the headlights.) I also have gotten the “oh you are just so young to have a baby!” in which I want to say back that I am married, I am 27, my husband is 30, and potentially my whole life story if that isn’t convincing enough. Zach and I still get asked to go get our parents when a solicitor stops by. (Shout out to our neighbor for being our mom according to the pest be gone dude.) The one that I actually don’t mind getting is “you’re a hot mom!” I honestly don’t know if I feel flattered or not in those situations. What would you feel? Because I genuinely don’t know so please decide for me. I’d like to update you on my most recent, and new, situation:
This was a shining moment for my mom, but honestly just downright awkward/interesting for me. My mom and I were out in the lobby at church because a toddler that always wants to move sitting down for an hour is not possible. I was playing with Casey on the ground while my mom was tending to the post service donut holes that live to see the light of day for about 2 seconds. This lady comes up to me smiling saying “oh my goodness your little brother is so cute!” BROTHER. I replied saying that he is my son. I don’t think that quite resonated with her, as she then went up to my mom saying that her kids had a 10 or so year age gap and it was nice that one could babysit the other. Eventually she understood the situation going on here, saying that my mom looked like Casey’s mom, and I indeed, looked like the sibling. Thanks?…(I can see how she may be thrown off a bit though.)
6. Not a moment of silence
A baby crying during a moment of silence or prayer feels awkward to any parent when in reality it probably isn’t. To me, it’s awkward, and this is what I meant when awkwardness means relatability and connection as a parent. A baby crying during a church service is a common issue and people are understanding about that. You’re probably thinking I am going to say that’s what Casey did, but that’s not an issue on my end. Casey is such a happy dude that I never have to worry about a melt down anywhere honestly. What I do know, is that he’s a little dude that likes to figure out how things work and problem solve when he plays with his toys…and makes a noise when doing so. If you give him a toy truck; he will be more interested in how the wheel is connected to the truck, put his finger in the windows of the truck, or see what happens when you put things in the trunk of the truck. I never bring toys for him that have any squeaking, jingles, music etc. What I did not take into account, is that concentration on how his toys work would be just as much as an issue as crying. People are familiar with a baby crying and don’t think much of it, but what they don’t expect is to hear a low sound of a creaky door over and over come out of a tiny human. Slowly, the head turns came in waves right in the middle of prayer. The embarrassment was rising in me as I swept him up and took him into the cry room because there is no such thing as a concentrating room. No more toys during church, just snacks!
7. Easter aquarium
Zach and I prepared to be the Easter bunny for a very long time, and I prepared the Easter outfit, super excited for everyone to see our handsome man at church. Well, it would have been great if we made it out of the parking lot. We had a really nice view of the church from there, though! Our Easter service consisted of sitting in the best curb side parking space playing lullabies instead of hymns. I’d rather describe it as sitting in a struggle bus instead of the car. Let me explain:
Casey was getting progressively crabbier the night before, and did not sleep all night. He even had no interest in what the Easter Bunny brought him. When he has no interest in his blueberry star puff snacks, that’s when you know something is wrong. He was crying all morning and would not nap, which in the parent world, is a complete disaster to be, even though it’s already a disaster in the moment. Not knowing he was sick, we chugged along with the day, and decided to full send going to church already praying that he would not be the one crying baby (ok this is the one exception of him crying in church) in a sanctuary that echos more than someone singing badly in a parking garage.
The moment we pulled out of the driveway he was knocked out. Zach and I pulled up to the church and knew what each other were thinking only by staring at each other. We were not getting out of that car because he needed a nap and we needed our sanity. Now this is not necessarily an awkward story; but it became very uncomfortable feeling like a fish in an aquarium as families, strangers, and families of strangers looked in the car as the hymns began, and we were making absolutely zero effort to get out of the car. All I wanted to do was roll down the window and explain the whole 5 minute long situation of how our morning went in order to justify what we were doing, but alas, that was not an option.
8. Toy fetch
This is more a story of relatability to other parents, but can get uncomfortable depending on how far things are thrown, and the level of Minnesota nice someone is that day. Toddlers are really good at throwing things in order to learn what gravity is, and to be honest they just think it’s funny which sometimes it can be. But when we are out in public it is not really ideal. Going out to dinner takes a lot of preparation than it used to pre kiddo. It is more than picking out what purse goes with my outfit and remembering to spray on some perfume. Dinner prep now means the right toy selection of what will keep him most entertained, what toy bounces the least, and all the snacks. Let’s be real, when people go out anywhere and see that they’re seated by a baby, they probably feel their heart sink a little (same concept as on an airplane) because they are associated with crying, banging, and a big mess. I now empathize and sympathize with parents deeply with the “pick up toy off the ground moment of shame” when it crosses into the territory of the crabby couple or when a waiter almost slips on it with a whole tray of food (whoops.) When Casey chucks his dump truck off the table, I always hope it flies under another table with babies because it isn’t awkward, it honestly feels kind of wholesome, and we take turns picking up each other’s toys. See? Connection and new couple friends!
9. Crying in public
Self-explanatory. No one likes to cry in public I would assume. Crying over spilled milk is a thing and I have done that. Being so frustrated when your kiddo does not want to stay still or drops every single piece of food you give them is the worst! There is so much going on behind the scenes as a parent that sometimes the smallest straw has broken me. I grew up in competitive gymnastics with a coach that made the team do extra conditioning if we cried, and this started in 3rd grade. I have always been stoic because of this, so crying at all is so awkward to me, let alone in front of someone. I’d honestly rather run around wearing my underwear over my pants (that came to mind first, not sure why,) but being a mom has humbled me real quick. Sometimes it just needs to happen when no other way is going to relieve yourself and throwing bricks at a wall isn’t readily available. Embracing awkwardness is learning that it is ok to be vulnerable even when it is caused by a favorite toy dropped in the middle of a pumpkin patch and having to find it like a needle in a haystack.
10. Bad first impressions
When Casey was born, he had some of the worst reflux ever causing him to spit up constantly it felt like. Always at the worst moments ever of course as Lauren luck goes. While there were a lot of moments that he spit up a little bit when people were meeting him, it was a quick wipe up and all good to go! Well, this time was a tad different. Zach and I ventured over to a neighbor’s grad party. I was so excited to use our new baby carrier because I could now have both hands free, and prove to the neighbors that we still live in our house since we never came out of it due to newborn life. I couldn’t wait for the neighbors to see him! We started talking to a neighbor when all of a sudden, my shirt felt a little bit more than damp. I looked down and I now was cradling the most throw up I have ever seen come out of him, and my shirt now became see through. While the neighbors were so nice and understanding because their graduating senior was once probably doing the same thing, I really wished in that moment that their first time meeting him didn’t involve this opposite of cute newborn moment, and seeing more than they bargained for when it came to my wardrobe malfunction. Of course we had no diaper bag to clean anything up, so while Zach took Casey out of the carrier and held him while we walked home. I had the honor of carrying the pool of loveliness as we went back into the house that we seemed to never come out of, and I now wanted to not come out of for a while, or at least with water repellent clothes.
Well folks, you probably were expecting a tad bit more secondhand embarrassment from which I could not give to you this time for once; but as they say, you never know what it feels like until you are a parent. I love hearing parent stories, they’re about as entertaining as hearing others’ stories from college. While I know there are many more ahead of me and these are probably pretty mild, being a mom is truly humbling and I now search for comfort and advice from my other mom friends. In order to do so, I have to actually be vulnerable in order for them to reassure and help me. That means I have to tell you that I performed a grocery hit and run, got laughed at by teenagers while drenched in the rain, temporarily forgot my son’s name, admit I will have the issue of explaining my son is not a girl for the rest of his life, smile while I am thought to be a teenage mom, caused a congregation to stare at my creaky door baby, a dump truck almost caused a waiter’s food to dump, cried for once, and took an unintentional shower in throw up. Did I miss anything?
Have a great start to fall and let’s get awkward!
~Lauren
P.S. Please notice that it did not take me a year to write again, woohoo!
Life of Lauren 